This morning I woke up with a heavy heart. Today I was going to see The Passion, a movie that I've wanted to see about as much as I didn't want to see it. I don't really like gory movies, but there are some gory things that need to be seen because they really happened kind of like Saving Private Ryan. The war experience never seemed real to me until I saw that movie. So I was curious on how this movie would affect me. I've heard the account of Christ's suffering many times in church in all its graphic detail. To see pictures that go along with it was a bit intimidating for me. I was not looking forward to seeing my Lord crucified, but I felt that I had to see it because I am who I am because of it. I wouldn't describe the movie as being good or bad, but instead I would say it was real. Some parts were very painful to watch and other parts I was so desensitized by the gore that I felt nothing. Overall, I felt more than I didn't feel though.

Some of the symbolism was very interesting. I don't really have a problem with it as I'm sure Satan watched the entire account. Where else would darkness be in the entire world when that was going on? When I watched the Roman soldiers and Pharisees beat and mock Him, it would have been a natural response to hate them, but to my greatest joy, my natural reaction was to think how much God loves us in spite of our sin. I think many people who don't know God personally are going to see this movie and feel guilty. Sadly, I don't think the gospel is presented clearly enough in the movie to explain to someone with no church background. For a Christian, all the elements are there and are obvious, but it's spread out through flashbacks and here and there and I think it will be confusing for people. I was surprised to see that John 14:6 was quoted in the film in the flashback of the last supper. I've heard in two interviews with Mel Gibson that conflict with one another and both of those conflict with John 14:6. What DO you believe, Mel?

Anyways, when the movie was over, I was joyful in my heart. The crucifixion was a good thing and it pleased God to do it. I have eternal life because of it. I have no guilt because my sins are forgiven. That doesn't mean I was not challenged by what I saw. If every day, I strived to love God more than the day before, I would still not love God as much as He loves me. All I could think about when watching that movie was how much I love Him and how I need to love Him more than I do.