Sometimes when you've been travelling for a long time, you forget where you came from, and the burden of the journey has made you focus on the final destination, but you forget why you were going there. I think that best describes my thought process so far, ha ha. I had to go back to the beginning again to figure out what really needs to be changed and why do I think moving is going to be a good thing. The first time I felt like moving away was because my old roommate decided to move back home to Indiana which kind of left me in a tight spot to find a new place to live since I wasn't about to hold the rent for a 2 bedroom apartment in West L.A. on my own. So I jumped into an apartment back in Westwood and went back to sharing a room again just like the old days. This was something I never really wanted. I had to share space again and I had to live in crowded Westwood again. It just never felt like home to me. In fact, most of my stuff is still packed from the move and I've been there for 16 months now. I think that's when I first desired to live in my own place so I could control where I lived, but California cost way too much, so I knew I couldn't own anything here for awhile. So at least I was content saving money by sharing a room. But things worked out ok. Sharing a room with Bobby wasn't so bad cuz he went home on the weekends and he was fun to crack jokes with. But now Bobby is gone and we got two new roommates and things are bit more crowded. We only had 3 people last year. Now we have 4. I'm just too old to live like this. The place is so trashy most of the time.

Anyways, so I've gone back to the beginning. There are two things I'm sure of at this point. I need to quit my job and I need a new place to live. So both of those may be close by or far away, I'm not sure. But at least coming to that conclusion has made things easier. I talked to my buddy, Harrison, today and we're going to live together next year. I think that's going to be cool. When you like your home life, it makes everything alot easier. I think moving out of California is inevitable, but I have some good reasons for staying a little longer. I really enjoy my church's new singles ministry, The Foundry. I'm plugged into a small group now and I'm enjoying the new friendships I'm making. A couple of these guys really fuel my creative side so we may also write something together which is something I've always wanted to do. It's also nice to have more friends my age after being in the college ministry for 8 years and being the "older" guy. At a time when you're making new friends, it seems strange to take off just as those relationships are growing. Another reason is my family won't be living in Texas again for another 2 years so it's not like I can visit them so soon. It would be easier to make a move like that when the family is back. Granted my grandparents do live there, but they travel alot.

I was reminded by my mom that real peace is knowing Christ, not any of these other things. This I always knew, but it helps to hear it from someone else. I recall Jeremiah 29:11, Matthew 6:25-34, and James 4:13-17. It's strange when I think about my life and all the times I was disappointed or hurt by someone, Christ had never failed me, and yet sometimes it doesn't even occur to me to go to Him first or to trust that He will take care of it. So I think this is what I really need to focus on more than the next steps for my life. I am a faithful believer, but I don't feel like I've really been striving lately. I think I need to work on this before I move anywhere. Thanks for praying, and if you didn't, you still can.

I was just asked if I could work Saturday this week. Well, that makes sense. Spend the whole week being idle so I can work Saturday and do tedious tasks. I am so going to quit, ha ha.