This weekend I went to the Resolved Conference. For me, it probably should have been called the Reunion Conference as I saw many people I hadn't seen since I switched churches and some I hadn't seen in a couple years. The speakers were Steve Lawson, C.J. Mahaney, Rick Holland, and Kirk Cameron. The theme of the conference was the resolutions of Jonathan Edwards thus the name of the conference. Jonathan Edwards was a name I was familiar with but this weekend I learned so much more about him. He wrote 70 resolutions of how he wanted to spend the rest of his life and while the context of those resolutions is amazing to comprehend that a person would be resolved in practicing all those things, it is even more amazing that he wrote all these when he was only 19 years old. I think about what kind of person I was when I was 19. It doesn't really matter cuz even at age 29, I'm still not even close to being so committed in my Christian life as he was at 19. Take the time to read them. He then practiced reading them all once a week, at the end of every month, and at the end of every year for the rest of his life. It was troubling reading many of these because I knew in my heart that no matter how much I wanted that to be my resolution, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. But the encouraging thing was the preamble of his resolutions indicated that he knew he would not be capable of any of these without the grace of God. He depended on God for his growth and didn't rely on himself, but he really strived to rely on God. That's something I hope I never forget to do.

Anyways, I wish I could write everything I learned at this conference, but I can't. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I don't think it has even all sunk in yet. The good thing for you though is the sermons will be available to download online pretty soon and you can have your own experience and probably learn more than I did. One thing that was said that really struck me was when C.J. Mahaney said, "the Christian life isn't hard, it's impossible". This weekend showed me just how high a fallible man can go to pursue holiness. I know that we shouldn't compare ourselves to men, but to Christ for He is perfect. However, it is humbling to see what a man can do and then know that all his success had come from the power of the Holy Spirit.

There were some funny moments at the retreat too. C.J. Mahaney is a pretty nutty guy. He started his sermon 20 minutes late last night because he wanted to play with the band. And when I mean play with the band, I mean he didn't play an instrument, but helped each band member play their own instrument. The man does not play an instrument and has no musical training and there he was conducting the band, strumming on their guitars, and playing chords on the piano. He was really getting into it. He was totally grooving up there. And when he was finished with all that he says, "clearly you see I have the gift, it just has never been developed". It was the funniest thing I had seen in a long time.

As I said earlier, it was a reunion weekend. I saw many of my Foundry friends to which I got a bunch of varied responses. "You made it!" or "Wow, you're here!" or "Sup". I was really surprised how many people remembered the skit I did for them at the last retreat. As much as people like them, they usually forget quickly enough. That was 6 months ago and people were still raving about it to me. I was really flattered. No one likes the skits as much as me and I was surprised to see that there were some that enjoyed that one just as much as I did even after all this time.

Anyways, the weekend was a great balance of joy and conviction. I wonder if that's healthy to have your heart leap and then have it crushed over and over for three days straight. It's definitely spiritually healthy. I enjoyed all the speakers, but I was really impressed with C.J. Mahaney most for his brokenness over the suffering of Christ. I prayed this weekend that God would make me into a man like that and a man like Jonathan Edwards because I sure can't do it by myself. Not so that I would have their outward success, but would obtain their inner love for God, the part that only He sees. I have no idea how many trials that would take to mold me into such a person. I don't even know if God would fully answer such a prayer cuz it would probably require trials that are too much for me and could quite possibly destroy me. One thing is certain and that is I am accountable for what I know and I ask that God would never stop reminding me to obey it.